When Momma Ain't Happy

If Momma Ain’t Happy

Proverbs 1:20-33

Probably most of us have had the experience of watching a mother absolutely taking her child or teenager to task.  Maybe there is finger shaking or arm grabbing.  The momma is either very loud, or very quiet (which is sometimes more dangerous).  Sometimes there are threats of consequences or promises of rewards for better behavior.  Sometimes the child (or teenager) looks shameful, sometimes defiant. But always, there is a “Mad Momma” look-- which is serious business. Not being a mother, this mad momma look is a great mystery to me. Especially since the look isn’t only effective on the angered momma’s child.  A mad momma can set even the burliest grown ups in their place.   It’s admittedly been a while since I’ve been on the receiving end of a true mad momma look but even seeing them directed at someone else strikes terror in my heart.  I stand up straighter, and try to behave better.  I shut my mouth and make sure I’m not smacking my gum.  What a skill this mad momma look is! Is there a book or something that teaches it?  Seems to me it would be a pretty useful skill to have (the severity of which is something that all mommas, and only mommas posses.)

When I opened up this week’s lectionary and saw this passage, you can imagine how I squirmed in my seat.  (Because you probably squirmed just as much when you heard it...such is the power of the mad momma!) I didn’t know the mad momma look went past a look--apparently it even has power in the written form.  What we find this morning is Wisdom-- which sounds lovely and gentle and kind-- but when we meet her, she doesn’t seem to be exhibiting those qualities that we love so much.  Nope, none of that.  She is radiating mad momma! 

I can just picture Wisdom in a long, flowing robe with long, flowing hair.  But there  are all these children around her and it is obvious that she is past her breaking point. She grabs the child closest to her by the arm to the point that he starts writhing.  And she starts raising her voice, and it doesn’t matter that she’s in the middle of Wal-mart or Food Lion or wherever. She has reached the point where she no longer worries about what people will think of her.  According to The Message translation, here’s what Mad Momma Wisdom shouts out: “Simpletons! How long will you wallow in ignorance?” Later in the same passage, she says, in essence... If you don’t follow me, you don’t love God!” I’ve never heard a momma say exactly that, but it isn’t a far stretch from there to “How long are you going to keep making bad choices?” or “If you’re gonna act like a fool, I’m gonna treat you like a fool!” or “Stop that right now! You’re embarrassing yourself and me!” 

It feels like we’re all in trouble.  What has gotten Mad Momma Wisdom so... mad? She hasn’t been listened to-- her instructions have gone unheeded. In the generations since these words were written, the things people have found with which to get themselves in trouble might have changed, but people have not.  The problem with people-- all of us-- is that we’re all both wayward and headstrong.  We’re convinced that “it” isn’t that big of a deal or that  nobody cares what we do.  We’re certain that our decisions will pan out for us in the end. 

But maybe all of that is putting it a little too tamely--what seems to frustrate Mad Momma Wisdom the most is how she is has to compete with so much else for attention.   Consider her location for a second.  She is in the middle of the marketplace, which is no accident.  The marketplace would have been the busiest and most crowded place imaginable.  She is not sitting on a lovely green hill somewhere gently speaking about how much better things would be if people sought wisdom in all things.  Perhaps she tried that, without much success.  And she knows that she has something important to say, something that would change their worlds.  So she is shouting, doing whatever it takes to get people’s attention.   But how can she compete, loud and angry though she is, with the things of this world.  It’s almost as if her beloved children are being seduced away from the smart things that will benefit their lives. 

Seduced? Surely that’s too strong of a word--isn’t it?  The word seduce comes from the latin word seducere  and means “to lead astray.”  While we think of it in mainly sexual terms, it also means “appealing to one’s senses to convince him or her to do something.” Let’s be brave and honest.  There’s a lot out there to seduce us: power, security, reputation, “stuff”.  Even as a church, we find much that would tempt us away from being the community of people we were created to be: tradition, comfort, the preservation of the institution, and even attempts at the appearance of unity--especially if there has been no reconciliation.  

We could name lots of obvious ones, but there are plenty of not so obvious seductions we face. While I was thinking about all the ways that the world has learned to lure us away from what is wise, a phrase from our reading grabbed my attention and refused to let go. “They shall be sated with their own devices.” Of course, those words were rattling around  in my head as I was surrounded by a computer, iphone, ipad, and ipod (all doing different things). I had facebook up. I was listening to music. I was answering texts and phone calls. And I was in a coffee shop.   I was adding to my grocery and to-do lists as things occurred to me. And I’m embarrassed to tell you that all of that was done while I was telling myself that I was “working on a sermon.” I was doing a lot of things, but there is no way I was listening for the voice of the Holy One.  

What a seduction!  To be so distracted and lured away so as to have no need of listening or of wisdom or even of true community.

Obviously Proverbs could not have been referring to those sorts of devices, but wow.  It struck me as quite a critique of our current world-- where we have so many devices that clamor for our attention.  Some years ago, singer songwriter Paul Simon did a song called “The Sounds of Silence”.  One of the most haunting lines whispers “The people bowed and prayed to the neon god they’d made.” What a seduction!  To be so distracted and lured away so as to have no need of listening or of wisdom or even of true community-- to find our fulfillment in things that we’ve created with our own hands. 

Surely that we could choose these things over abiding with Wisdom is enough to turn her from gentle, guiding “Lady Wisdom” into shouting, arm-grabbing “Mad Momma Wisdom”.  Certainly, we’d prefer a kind, gentle word.  But perhaps we haven’t always been able to hear those words as they were offered.  Mad Momma Wisdom makes us writhe under her words.

As I think back on the times when I managed to turn my own sweet, gentle mother into a mad momma, I realized that she could see things I couldn’t.  She could understand that if I ran into the street, there was a good chance a hurrying car wouldn’t see me. If I touched the red hot stove, I’d be a miserable little girl.  And if I insisted on speaking snarly, disrespectful words, then the world would have little patience for me as I grew up.  Of course, it was only out of her love for me that she bothered to tangle with me at all.  Had she not loved me, she would’ve left me to my own devices. 

So I think it is with Mad Momma Wisdom. She is spilling over with divine love for her children and hates the thought of them being hurt.  She can see the consequences of our actions, and knows that we can’t yet see them for ourselves.  She’s going to do everything she can to help us make the right decisions, but she isn’t shy about offering us a sharp “I told you so” as we begin to discover how our negative choices cause us upheaval and harm.  And if we’re still feeling surly, and need to growl out “Why should I listen to you? What could you possibly know, old woman?” she offers a promise of very good news.  For in relationship with her, we find safety and security.  We find that disaster shies away from her protective wings.   Not one of us would really like to acknowledge that sometimes we bring trouble upon ourselves through our bad choices. But maybe we need to hear that-- sometimes, tough love is the kindest sort of love.

There’s an old saying that paints mothers in a pretty mean light: “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  We smile-- at least those of us that aren’t mothers.  But there might be some truth in this statement if we apply it to Mad Momma Wisdom.  Because Wisdom is happy when we choose well, when we’re following the paths directed by our love of God.  Wisdom is unhappy when we choose our own way, unheeding of the things we know to be good and true.  But the truth is that it’s not just Mad Momma that’s unhappy-- if we thought about it, we’re pretty unhappy too.  The times when we feel the most disconnected and in the most upheaval are times when we haven’t been listening to Lady Wisdom’s gentle counsel. 

The Message Translation leaves us with these words:  “First pay attention to me, and then relax.  Now you can take it easy-- you’re in good hands.”   What a blessed, holy place to be: cherished, loved, and held.  That’s what Momma wanted for us all along!  When Momma’s happy, turns out we’re pretty happy too. 

Kim Justice

Fayetteville, NC